Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The risks of being prepared...

I am planning a trip to Kenya, so responsibly visited my doctor with immunization card in hand. She confirmed that I was up-to-date on all my shots, but advised that I would need to get a prescription for malaria medicine. She explained my options: you can take a pill every day while your gone, and you must continue the medicine for 30 days after you return from your travels; OR, you can take a pill once a week while you're gone, and just take one more pill once you get back. Easy, right? I'll take the weekly dose.
She said, well, the weekly medicine is known to have some side effects.  Oh? Like what? (I'm thinking nausea, dizziness...) She says: "homicide." What?!? 
Yes, apparently this medicine has induced documented homicidal tendencies. How often? Only one in twenty.
Who knew that the FDA would approve homicide as a side effect?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Happy Anniversary!


Today, my parents have been married 40 years. That's a pretty long time, especially when you compare it to the fact that Noah only spent 40 DAYS on the ark.

I can't imagine my parents forty years ago, but they must have existed. Many things did not exist then-- like rollerblades, or cell phones, or pesky computer security that makes you change your password every three months to some new code that has a lower case, and an upper case, and a number-- even if you can't possibly invent 4 such complex codes a year. My parents have been married the equivalent of 160 online banking passcodes.

Marriage, as a long-term endeavor, is somewhat antiquated by modern standards. But, between love and rollerblading, the former is certainly more challenging, and forty years of continual effort is impressive indeed.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Crazy doesn't fall far from Crazy

No matter how hard I try, my parents are always doing something weirder than I am.
Some people would never surf in Alaskan waters. Those people have never surfed.  It finally happened that I got invited on a surf trip I could actually go on. The M/V Milo headed out to the Gulf of Alaska last Friday with the mission to find a couple new surf breaks and surf a couple known ones.
Some friends bought this old purse seiner out of Washington a couple years ago and have outfitted it as a surf charter boat. What used to be the fish hold is now the "Board Room" with plenty of room to stack surf boards and even a stove to hang and dry wetsuits in front of. A hot tub was added to the back deck next to the skiff, and between the wheel house, a couple staterooms, and the focsle bunkroom, the Milo can sleep 10 surfers and crew. But this weekend, only 4 of us made the dock before she set out. It's tough to find surf in the summer in Alaska, as the winter swells die down, and this was a happy window before work gets busy where I could sneak out to nowhere for a couple days.
We skiffed around looking for waves, exploring tidal harbors and watching a Sasquatch goatherd (rumors of Bigfoot abound on the outer coastline of the Kenai Peninsula, and the mountain goats we saw were way too big to be normal).  We found a new break in the middle of a garden of large rocks, but even I managed not to smash my head or my board as we played for hours in the sunshine. With only four people on the break, we all cheered for each other to catch waves-- no crowds or strife on the line here.
Thick wetsuits are enough for 45 degree water, but on Sunday, when it started to blow snow and sleet in the small face-holes of suits, we got discouraged a little earlier.  Snow in May is discouraging anywhere north of the equator. It being Mother's Day, we dried off and started the 5 hour run home to see if we could get cell phone coverage before our moms went to sleep.
I haven't put in that many consecutive hours surfing since I wintered in Mexico, and my shoulders are just starting to loosen.
I did manage to get both my parents on the phone when I got in sight of Homer. My dad was incredulous, and scolded me for getting in the water in Alaska. Am I crazy? He issued this lecture in the clothes he wore to Cancun for a consult on illegal cancer surgery. Am I crazy?  At least I know that the reason to go to Mexico is for warm water surfing and delicious food-- not for desperado healthcare that's not even approved in the US. And, he went all the way down there without even eating any Mexican food! They're talking about taking the Milo to Mexico for maintenance next winter, surfers welcome to come along. I'll have to check my schedule and see if they're running any gringo healthcare bargains in the fall. 

Monday, April 30, 2012

Just to get you caught Up

My grandmother pointed out that I haven't posted anything in a while. I'd love to say it's because there's been nothing to say, but we all know I'd be lying.
Since the snow in Homer slowly started melting, I've been to Florida twice (it's still 'hot, flat & crowded'); I got second place in a hockey tournament;  my dad wrecked a plane that I helped him learn to fly (he's fine, the plane's not); I enjoyed the start of a great crust skiing season, except for helping my uncle wreck his knee (the skis are fine, he's getting better); I met the family of the boy I'm dating, and he, mine; I won a dance off, on a train, in a hotdog costume; and, most recently, I spent the weekend eating my way thru the ethnic foodstuff's of Chicago, en route to start the busy work/flying season back in Alaska. I could have made a sit com about any of these events more entertaining than whatever's on evening TV, but then, I don't have a TV, so I wouldn't be able to watch my handiwork, with Julia Stiles as me.
So, that's about it, in a nutshell. Sorry to have fallen off the map, but I think we're all caught up. The biggest items were the one's with the word "wreck" in them... funny how that works. How do you reconcile when people get hurt doing something you encouraged them to do? Even if whatever you were encouraging was a good thing, you still feel guilt at causing any pain, aggravation, inconvenience, or worse. And you can't take it back: one, because it's done; and two, because you probably would have done the same thing again.  
I have had a fun spring, but life keeps throwing lessons at me in the form of questions... they aren't getting any easier to answer. I'm thinking about getting a TV.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

"Snow-pocalypse"

Clever, huh? That's how some folks are referring to the unusual amount of snow some parts of Alaska has seen this winter. We've gotten over six feet of snow so far in Homer. Almost everyone has been stuck at their own or somebody else's house by now, if not on the side of the road. We've all put in some time behind shovels and plows, and people with really long driveways are wondering why they built their cabins exactly there.  The roads are usually passable for the ubiquitous Subaru. The skiing is good if you don't need trails, as the groomers can't keep up.
My neighbors got their car stuck on the road outside my door two months ago. I guess it was their disposable car, because it's still there. I am wondering if there are salvage laws for vehicles and what I might do with a four-door sedan.


More amazing than the fact the the snow keeps falling is that businesses keep closing. Unemployment is a popular pastime in winter Alaska, but anyone who doesn't subscribe to that has gotten at least one "snow day" off of work. If my Subaru can get there to see that you are closed, you probably could get there too, but maybe not.
Government offices seem to shut first, followed by a litany of stores, restaurants, and services. It's becoming obvious what "essential" workers are in Homer, AK: bartenders and liquor store cashiers. You might want to go to a movie on a snowy day. You can't. Theater's closed because of weather. Or perhaps you could use that extra time to work on your new years resolutions and go to the health club: no, the club is closed because the parking lot isn't plowed. They could hand out shovels and clear the parking lot in the name of 'group fitness' but apparently people don't want to exercise until they are inside the building. This weekend, a ski event was cancelled because there was too much snow to ski.
The harbor is frozen solid, with a mere mile of ice pack blocking the entrance. Small boats have not been coming or going for a couple of weeks.
But, I can go to the top of the ridge and downhill ski straight to my house. If you can dodge ice bergs, you can go surfing. The days are getting longer, we're gaining six minutes a day, and the bars are still open. Let it snow.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

It's January in Alaska. The Weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Who cleans their hot tub in a blizzard? It's my fourth January in Alaska, but I still am not proficient enough at drinking or domestic violence to pass as a local. So, I find myself outdoors, orally siphoning dirty water out of a 250 gallon tub in what I think is a window of good weather. The window was a lot smaller than anticipated, and due to the effects of freezing on drains, this chore wasn't one that could be left when the snow and sleet started falling again and the wind picked up to 30mph.
The next day, I settled for a more locally-themed indoor activity, and went to watch a jury trial. I learned another lesson from this activity that will stick with me as long as "don't clean a hot tub in a blizzard." No, it's not "don't go watch jury trials," if they weren't entertaining, there wouldn't be so many TV shows and movies based on them. The new lesson is: "If you ever get in trouble in Homer, AK, immediately seek outside legal counsel."
The legal masterminds of our day are obviously not working as public defenders and state prosecutors in rural Alaska, but the circus I watched was a comical reminder. The undisputed facts of the case were these: the defendant and the victim had both been drinking and yelling at each other in the victim's residence; the defendant threw a coffee mug* from a second story loft that hit the victim, who was downstairs, in the head; the victim sustained a head injury that required 22 stitches; the victim waited for an ambulance and police in a nearby vehicle; the police arrested the defendant; the victim did not press charges, but was subpoenaed as a witness for the State. The charge was assault in the 4th degree (which is a misdemeanor that the State of Alaska defines as "recklessly causing physical injury to another person"); the defendant plead 'not guilty'.
The defense was multi-faceted razzle-dazzle to shame Chicago. The argument made by the defense attorney was four-pronged:
1) *It wasn't really a "mug" it was a "teacup." Aesthetically speaking, It certainly sounds like a teacup would feel a lot better on the forehead than a mug, but not as nice as a facial massage. If either one is gonna result in 22 stitches, getting hit with kitchenware is getting hit with kitchenware. Also, fair or not, the entire jury was composed of sighted individuals and the prosecution presented an exact match of the shattered mug/teacup as evidence.
2) At some point in time the victim asked the defendant if they would be interested in swinging.  Amazingly, the prosecution never objected on the grounds of 'irrelevance' and the defense attorney was able to make multiple witnesses on the stand define 'swinging' (exchanging spouses for sex) when she brought up the request as an element of defense for the assault charges.  This was funny to watch, as no one is really comfortable defining slang terms for sex in front of a well-lit room of strangers. Never mind that the defendant and victim are not married, because we're not trying to stay on the topic for which we were called to court anyway.
3) The victim had been drinking and was sitting in a car after the alleged assault, so they should have been charged with a DUI. This would be an interesting point to watch debated if I was present at a DUI trial, as it can be argued that if you are "controlling" a vehicle if you are in it with the keys. But, as far as I knew, the only defendant in the room was the one on trial for assault. No objections from the prosecution though. At this point, I started to question if Alaska state law or court procedures really have any bounds of relevancy at all. If I'm charged with a crime, can I sight the last time my victim lied to their mother as a defense? Maybe we can also discuss the manner in which the parties involved pick their teeth. 
4) When the victim called 911, they flirted with the dispatcher.  Since this call, like the alleged DUI, occurred post-assault, and off-crime scene, I questioned its relevancy. The prosecutor did not, but she did offer a tape of the 911 call as State's evidence and played it for the courtroom. I was pretty excited to hear if the defense's remarks were true, as I would love to know how you go about hitting on someone in the course of an emergency phone call (everyone's interested in a new angle for an eligible date in January in Alaska, after all). Disappointingly, the 911 caller just sounded nervous and a little intoxicated, more or less as expected from someone that is stunned, uncomfortable, and has their own blood on their face.
More than 40 minutes were spent on each of these arguments. The victim and the cop that responded to the scene testified. The cop was so obviously annoyed and bored with the defense attorney that he barely kept from rolling his eyes. Due to many recesses & continuances, The jury made multiple trips in a blizzard to hear the elaborate details of the case and random details of peoples' lives that they probably didn't care to hear. I tried to keep from laughing out loud by admiring the architecture and paint job in the courtroom, and thinking about how much money the state of Alaska has to spend on public buildings.
Speaking of public funds, this case, by court calendar, took up at least a week of the court's time. The final verdict was 'Not Guilty.' I'm certain the prosecutor was paid for her work, even though any citizen off the street could have shot cannonball holes in the defense's case using a feather duster.  The defense attorney probably sleeps fine, as many people are required to hand in their scruples when receiving their law degree.  No one seems concerned about the use of public funds or the state of our legal system. And I say 'no one', because the same number of people show up to spectate at court cases as clean hot tubs in blizzards.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Hindsight is 20/20



I rang in 2011 with a good friend and good food in a new country: Argentina. One thing this friend taught me was to go through your pictures at the end of the year and choose 10-12 that capture the highlights. It's a bit of time travel that serves a really good reminder of how far a year can take us. I rang in 2012 a lot closer to home and with a lot more friends. I miss the adventures of travel, but relish the days of home and friends and snow. Here's what some of my last year looked like.
I made some bold resolutions for 2012: 1) get 15% better at love; 2) write a letter to someone each week; 3) buy a small plane.  I don't have the best track record on resolutions, but anything worth trying is worth trying...  Happy New Year!
Playing with rocks in the deserts of Argentina
Moved to Cochabamba, Bolivia, where I built schools, learned Spanish, and lived with a host family that I miss dailly
Celebrated Carnaval in Oruro, Bolivia



Got in WAY too many interesting situations involving buses
Visited Salaar de Uyuni, the world's largest salt flats, with the friends I made at Sustainable Bolivia
Steller Air Service expanded to two airplanes and added another pilot and a staff and a whiskey bar
Basically ran a hostel at "the campus" where I live. Taylor and Alice lived here for the summer, and myriad friends visited, which made every single moment of summer busy, fun, ridiculous, and memorable.
4th of july in Spicer, MN... need I say more?
Learning to hunt wih the Fonkert brothers, Cody & Jedd: a week of perfect Alaska nature after a spin-cycle summer

Killed a caribou hunting on the Alaska Peninsula... not bad for 2nd try ever

Aubrey & Elyse.. my new nieces: the prettiest chicititas in the world


Settling in for a season of winter sports in Alaska: starting with the Wilderness Women's Competition in Talkeetna